The phone rang and he opened with: ‘How much d’ya want for the car, boss?’ ‘€650.’ ‘€650 you’ve up on the ad, but what’ll you take for it.’ ‘What’ll you give?’ ‘Ah, I don’t know, sure is there no brakes on her?’ ‘No.’ ‘Or NCT???’ ‘Eh…no that’s gone too.’ ‘And you want €650?? Shtop, I’ll… Continue reading Donedeal Dialogue
My daughter Nairobi asked: Why are you working today, daddy? It's Sunday. I tried to explain but didn't do a good job. Hard to define a trip across the country with a boot full of books. But here is I. We were in Mr.Price in Athlone. Spending an hour together before I hit the road.… Continue reading Notes on being on the road….
Got the call to go down to Marian. She wanted to sign up. I was in the area. How am I fixed? This was good news on a bad Friday. Needed a fast sale and get home. Marian sounded the type that could just sign up, tick all the boxes, and the weekend could… Continue reading Poor Craytures.
The lad in the recovery truck had a great bedside manner. Shoulda been a doctor. I know this because he said: 'That car's fucked." "Fucked?" "Fucked completely." "What'll we do?" "Do you know any scrapyards? I can tow you to one." "I still need a car." "Time for Donedeal I'd say." Later on Donedeal,… Continue reading Buying the Insignia.
Rachel asked: 'Can I use your phone?' 'Why?' 'I need to ring an 1800 number and I have no credit.' 'Ok.' I gave it to her. She dialled. There was phone music. Then a myriad of options. She chose one. Then it went through to the customer service and a woman answered with: 'What's your… Continue reading The Letter –
‘Your man was goin around there sellin them for €50.’ ‘And what do they look like?’ ‘Just like normal magnets, but awful powerful. It’s like you take out the inside of a speaker and magnetise its strength by a hundred.’ ‘And what do you do with it?’ ‘You just stick it to the side of… Continue reading Magnetism –
Pairic’s house had a warm range and bright lights and a lino floor. Out in the country, real country, twenty miles from the nearest town. A dog called Patch that smelled like a wet sheep. The wife came in and she said to Pairic: ‘What’s wrong with you?’ ‘I’m changin this over.’ He said. She… Continue reading Pairic’s bitta chop.
Walked into a place that sells car parts. Ten o’clock on a quiet Thursday morning. Man behind the desk said to talk to Kathleen. Who’s Kathleen? She’s comin in the door there. Kathleen breezed in. Shopping bags. Soft shoes. Blue eyes. Looked me up and down said: ‘Oh.’ ‘I’m just here to see the bill,’… Continue reading Kathleen’s signature.
The manager’s name was Freddie. He usually bought the lunch. His phone rang and he went to take the call. Said to order him a salad while he was gone. The waitress came. Greek Salad for Freddie, please. Ordered a steak for myself. (Extra side of chips. Pint of coke.) The food was… Continue reading Lunch with Freddie –
Cathal is a big fan of making quick decisions. I know this because he’s been staring at the table for the last 45 seconds in complete silence. I’m not sure if he’s fallen asleep with his eyes open, daydreaming, or just trying to make up his mind. The office is small, adjacent to the medium… Continue reading Sale of the Century –