Donedeal Dialogue

The phone rang and he opened with: ‘How much d’ya want for the car, boss?’
‘€650 you’ve up on the ad, but what’ll you take for it.’
‘What’ll you give?’
‘Ah, I don’t know, sure is there no brakes on her?’
‘Or NCT???’
‘Eh…no that’s gone too.’
‘And you want €650?? Shtop, I’ll give you €300.’
‘I’ve already been offered €400 by a lad.’
‘Is he dhreamin?’
‘That’s what he said he’ll give, anyway.’
‘Aragh, I don’t know. How many miles on her?’
Beat, then: ‘Three hundred and fifty five THOUSAND?!’
‘Yeah, but she’s a good car, never let me down….til now.’
‘Ah, sham.’
‘Were you doin round trips to America in her?’
‘You want €650 for a car with no NCT, no Brakes and 355,000 miles on the clock?’
‘Don’t forget the new driveshaft and the two new wheels I put on last week.’
‘Sure what the fuck good are they with no brakes?! Will she brake at all? Not even a little bit to get me home…?’
‘No. You’ll need a truck or a tow rope to bring it home.’
‘What about the handbrake?’
‘That’s fucked too.’
‘Are you serious?’
‘I am.’
‘Any tax?’
‘Out next week.’

‘Oh Christ above. Sure you’re lookin for antique prices at this rate.’
‘She’s worth it.’
‘They’re a good car alright, when they’re actually workin….you’ll have to pay someone to take that away….’
‘We’ll see. The engines are goin for export at €400 minimum.’
‘Sure why would I want to export the engine? She’d be no good to me then at all!’
‘I s’pose.’
‘Hmm. Yeah. What’s your best price so?’
‘Your best price I asked yeah, c’mon on now.’
There must be a little bit in the brakes?’
‘What’s wrong them anyway?’
‘Master Cylinder I think?’
‘What’s that?’
‘I haven’t a clue.’

‘I’ll give you €350 tonight, cash, into your hand, that’s the besht you’ll get.’
‘I’ll think about it.’
‘No one else will give you that, and sure I’ll probably hit the wall half way up the road. Where do you live?’
I told him, and he said: ‘Where exactly?’
‘We’ll figure that out if you’re comin…’
‘If I’m drivin from Athenry how do I get there?’
‘I’ll get back to you later.’
‘Lad, will you take €350 into the hand?’
‘I’ll save your number and let you know. Depends on the other fella that offered €400.’
‘Sure he’s a pure fairy.’
‘Money’s money.’
‘He won’t give you that for it, you’ll be wastin your time talkin to him. Take the cash off me now, quick sale. Into the paw. Bang bang, she’s done and dusted.’
‘I’ll give you a call later.’
‘Do, do, do. I’ll be at your place tonight and we’ll do a deal. That’s the besht price you’ll get.’
‘Thanks. G’luck.’
‘Bye bye, bye so, bye.’

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