Thumber –

‘Thanks for stoppin,’ He said.

‘No problem. Were you there long?’

‘Bout an hour.’

‘Least it’s not rainin.’

‘Thank God.’

‘Are you from Headford?’

‘No, I thumbed up from Kerry this mornin…workin down there.’

‘Nice spot.’

‘Tis, busy too.’

‘What are you workin at?’

‘Workin for a sales crowd.’

‘What’re ya sellin?’

‘Do you them electricity meters….the kind that you top up?’

‘You put credit into them?’

‘Yeah, like a mobile phone.’

‘I do, yeah.’

‘Well I’m workin for one of them.’

‘Goin well?’

‘Ah…not too bad. Callin round to people’s houses. Tryin to get them to switch.’

‘Do you sell much?’

‘An odd one.’

‘Commission only?’

‘Nah, you get a few pound for the week, and then commission on top of that.’

‘I’d say some people are pure ignorant?’

‘Some people are just born that way.’

‘Are they good value, the meters?’

‘At the start yeah, but they’re rigged to go up in price.’

‘How d’ya mean?’

‘Like, there’s a little chip inside them, a computerised yoke, and it gradually increases the price of electricity over time….’


‘Yeah, so if you, say, get a €100 free to join up at the start, and you think it’s great. Then about six months down the line, you’re puttin in €25 a week instead of €20 and then six months after that it’s €30 a week, and you’re thinkin what am I doin different, am I usin more, is it the time of year or what….? But it’s just the chip inside that’s crankin up the price and usin the credit faster.’

‘So the more you put in, the less you’re gettin’ out?’

‘Yeah, bit like a fruit machine. Where you from yourself?’


‘I was thinkin, I know your face.’

‘Nice town.’

‘Haven’t lived there in years. Didn’t you do somethin with Plays?’

‘Yeah, good craic.’

‘And you wrote a book? With Ballinrobe in it?’

‘I did, yeah.’

‘What was the name of it again?’

El Niño.’

‘I remember that. That was a good book, about real shit. Not like the other crap you read at school.’

‘Did you read it, you did?’

‘No. My brother did. Him that told me about it. Said it was good. Have you any more out since?’

‘Had another book, and a film out last year. One of my Plays was filmed.’

‘That’s fuckin class. I wanted to be an actor myself. Is it hard?’

‘Tisn’t too bad.’

‘What was the film about?’

‘A kidnappin.’

‘Cool. Where’d ye make it?’

‘It was shot in Jordan, about three years ago.’

‘Mad. I’d say that place is cracked.’

‘Not as cracked as you’d think.’

‘What was it called?’

‘The film?’


‘Tiger Raid.’

‘Tiger Raid?’

‘Yeah. Tiger Raid.’

‘Where can I watch it?’

‘It’s on I Tunes, Youtube, and Google Play Movies…’

‘Class. I might download it for free somewhere. Can you let me off here?’


‘Yeah, there behind the black car.’

‘Sound, I’ll let you off there so.’


‘G’luck, thanks.’





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