Dreambox –

‘What’s wrong with Showbox?’

‘I don’t know. It just stopped workin. Sure everythin’s gone down.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Did you ever try a Dreambox?’

‘What are they?’

‘They’re the yokes that you can put in and they give you all the Sky Channels for nothin.’

‘Nothin? Like you don’t have to pay?’

‘Oh you do! Like, there’s a fella sellin them. You buy them off him, and he gives you the box and then you’re sorted.’

‘How much?’

‘Depends on what you want, but you can get them for for about €250/€300…’

‘And do you pay a Subscription after?’

‘No, one off payment.’

‘Sky mustn’t be happy with that?’

‘Are they fuck. It was great for a while, but they’ve started to clamp down on it now.  A good few got cut off lately.’

‘What happens when you get cut off?’

‘You just turn on the telly and most of your channels are gone. Not even RTE. One woman paid for a box about a month ago and now all she has left now is the horror channel. Sits at home all day watching fuckin horror films!’

‘Imagine that.’

‘I tell ya. I had one for a while cos the crowd I was with for telly were pure bastards.’

‘Charging you too much?’

‘Yeah they overcharged me. I was out in Syria at the time.’

‘Syria? Where the war’s on?’

‘Yeah. Peace keeping. I’m in the Army.’

‘What was that like?’

‘Rough enough now. We were in a quieter part though. On the border with Israel. Keeping the peace there around the Golan Heights. It’s a bit dodgy there since the six day war a while back. Anyway, sure I was out in Syria and I checked my account one day and there was €500 gone out of it.’

‘For what?’

‘Fuck knows. I never found out either.’

‘Did you call them?’

‘I did, but try gettin through?? You know what I said in the end? I hung up the phone and says to myself: I hope ye choke on that €500 ye dirty bastards. Then I got in the Dreambox.’

‘And it’s workin so far?’

‘No. It’s gone now too. I’ll probably get an Android box next. Works off the Internet. But then we need Internet here too.’

‘Have ye no fiber here?’

‘We do, but the fella was here to put it in and he fried himself.’

‘He what?’

‘We were sititn there in the kitchen and he was out here in the hall putting in the modem or whatever and then we heard a kind of a big bang and next thing your man was on the ground…fuckin electrocuted himself!’

‘Jesus what did ye do?’

‘We didn’t know whether to start laughin or call an ambulance.’

‘Was he alright?’

‘Yeah, more embarrassed than anythin I think. A big shock he got. Anyway, ever since, the Internet hasn’t worked properly comin into the house. Get faster speeds in Syria. I’m not fuckin jokin either.’





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