Dead dog in a suitcase.

They went for a drink. He asked: ‘How are you?’
She said: ‘Well, my housemate’s dog died.’
‘Died. Came home and it was dead. She was devastated.’
‘What you do?’
‘She kept crying. Asked me to bury it. Couldn’t handle it herself.’
‘Where? We’re in the city?’
‘Yeah, it’s a long story.’
‘Tell me.’
‘You won’t believe me.’
‘Why not? Did it come back to life?’
‘Is it still at your house?’
‘No, I tried to bring it home.’
‘To where?’
‘I’m originally from the countryside, and we’re big into dogs down there, so I tried to bring it down to a field, to have it buried.’
‘Right, you tried, what happened?’
‘I brought it to the train station but it didn’t work out.’
‘How’d you bring a dead dog to the train station?’
‘In a suitcase.’
‘What kind of suitcase?’
‘A big one. I was going home for the night too, so I had two cases. One with all my clothes and all, and the other with the dog in it, wrapped in a bag.’
‘Jesus. What kinda bag?’
‘Spar bag.’
‘So what happened?’
‘Well, both suitcases are really big so it was awkward at the train station. I was pulling them both after me, trying to buy a ticket, ask people to get out of the way, not get pissed off. And then this fella walks up to me.’
‘A stranger.’
‘A stranger just walked up to you?’
‘Yeah, well, I think he was a drug addict.’
‘How do you know?’
‘He looked like one.’
‘Maybe he just havin a bad day?’
‘Well it was about to get worse.’
‘Why? Did he ask you for money and you told him to go fuck himself?’
‘Did he try to steal your phone?’
‘No he was really mannerly actually, and I was nice to him, too.’
‘So how’d his day get worse, what, what the fuck, tell me.’
‘He walked up and asked me: ‘Are you ok there?’
‘Like he wanted to know if you needed a hand?’
‘Yeah, well he asked me if I needed a hand.’
‘With the suitcases?’
‘Yeah. With the suitcases. The one with the clothes and the other with the dead dog.’
‘Right, and what did you say?’
‘I said I was ok thanks, but he insisted, put his grip around the handle of one of the cases, said he’d help me up some steps, couldn’t let a lady be carrying all that luggage on her own.’
‘So you let him?’
‘I let him.’
‘And he helped you?’
‘No he ran away.’
‘He ran away. He was trying to steal my suitcase, well he did steal my suitcase. Once I let it go, he just picked it up in both hands, and ran out the door. He knocked an old lady and clipped a man in a wheelchair on the head.’
‘Which case, the one with the clothes?’
‘No, the one with the dead dog in it.’
‘Problem solved.’
‘Fuck. Wonder what he thought when he opened it? Dead dog in a plastic Spar bag. Like-  What the fuck sort of crazy bitch is she?’
‘Yeah, and it was hot day too.’
‘What your housemate say?’
‘I didn’t tell her. Well, I’m just on the way home now.’
‘Did you tell the guards?’
‘No, I was more afraid your man would report me for something, animal cruelty or somethin.’
‘Can you be cruel to an animal if it’s already dead?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t want to know either. Your round.’
‘Sound. Same again?’

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