There was great tumult and commotion in Lackagh this morning as a Maxi-Cosi pram appears to have nearly Jack-knifed when traveling West from the Hallway Junction into the kitchen off the Knockdoe bypass. The pram, containing one passenger, (Nairobi Donnellan) and propelled by Michelle Henson, was returning from a concert in the far room when the incident occurred. The two were travelling at normal speed when it appears that an unforeseen object appeared unexpectedly on the living room floor. Fearing the worst, and doing her best to avoid a collision, Henson rammed the pram into reverse but it was already too late as the right front wheel collided with the debris and brought the vehicle to an unexpected stop. The screech of brakes were heard as far away as the cooker where an oblivious Mick Donnnellan was contemplating some sausages cooking on the pan. When Mick heard the loud screech of brakes he looked to find that the Maxi-Cosi had indeed collided with the “Complete Works of Shakespeare” which had been taken down the previous night in a fit of demented inspiration and then promptly abandoned for the more contemporary “Boardwalk Empire.” Upon investigation of the facts, and drawing the conclusion that there was no damage to vehicle of passenger, Henson took the book and promptly fired it on to the hard shoulder of the couch and apologised to Nairobi by saying: ‘See, Nairobi? That’s daddy’s fault for leavin his shit lying around…’
This is one of the many incidents of recent weeks concerning traffic to and from the concerts in the far room which are now a regular occurrence as part of the morning routine. With acts like Rualie Bualie and Lana Del Ray and the people that sing “The Gummy Bear song” appearing on a regular basis, there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that the situation is likely to worsen, particularly in light of the Shakespearean incident, but also on smaller scale with the likes of the remote controls, printers, teddy bears, pillows and shoes. Efforts to assemble a local committee to discuss the issues have fallen on deaf ears and attempts to contact the organisers of the Electric Picnic for advice have so far been unsuccessful. If there is to be any positive news from the incident, we can confidently report that there were no injuries (Notwithstanding Shakespeare’s head) and Nairobi was mostly oblivious to the panic, dismay and chaos engulfing the household at the time.
Nairobi, a strong advocate and beneficiary of breast feeding, had something like this to say: ‘Boob?’
Novel – El Niño (in Paperback).
El Niño is the exciting debut novel from Mayo man, Mick Donnellan. Slick, stylish and always entertaining, the story is a rollercoaster of drama and tension that hasn’t been seen in Irish fiction for a very long time. Charlie is our protagonist, the pick pocket that steals El Nino’s wallet and then falls in love with her. She’s the wild femme fatale, beautiful; enigmatic and seductive. She rocks Charlie’s world with her smoky wiles and drinking ways and her tough girl ideals. This is Noir at its best. Dark and edgy with crisp fresh dialogue and a plot that engages the reader from the first line and keeps them up all night – right through to it’s powerful finish.