Supposed to be a true story. Sure who the fuck knows. We’ll call him Andy. He goes into the restaurant. Takes a seat. Waiter comes over. What can I get you? All that. Few minutes later, Bono walks in. Few of the crew from U2 with him. Few more he doesn’t recognise. Bono gives Andy a look, smiles, keeps going. Andy wonders what that’s about til the waiter comes over, says: ‘Do you mind if I ask you a favour?’
He goes on to explain. Our hero is at Bono’s favourite table. There’s a view. More seats than are available elsewhere in the restaurant. Would it be an awful inconvenience to move? Andy says no, of course not, he likes the band, and it’s nice to be nice.
So he moves.
Bono and the crew take the table.
Lunch ensues. Salads. Lemoned water. Classical music. Clatter of a coffee being made, high powered percolator and professional baristas. Andy keeps an eye on the famous diners. One of them gets up. Goes out for a smoke. Andy follows. Doesn’t think much of the guy. His cap and beard. A roadie maybe? Something to do with speakers, or lights, or books the hotels? Maybe he just finds the restaurants? Andy asks the nobody for a light. He says ok. Husky American voice Andy Feels comfortable. Like he knows the guy, like they met before, his kinda buzz, familiar and sound. They talk. The view. The weather. The food. Andy talks about U2 for a while. Best band in the world. The roadie agrees. Then silence til Andy goes: “Would you mind askin Bono for his autograph for me, I let him have the table, and I’m a big fan. And I’ve never met anyone so famous. You know how it is for average Joe Soaps like us.’ The guy smiles, says of course. They go back inside. Andy finishes his lunch. The roadie tells a story at the famous table and everyone laughs and after they all get up to leave. On the way out, the nobody roadie from outside gives Andy a napkin with Bono’s autograph. Andy says thanks. Drinks a macchiato to celebrate. After, he goes up to pay, but the waiter says no way, Bono paid for your food. As a thanks for letting him have the table. Cool, says Andy, score. And you know what? I got his autograph too.
Yeah, says the waiter, that took balls.
Balls? Says Andy.
Yeah, You asked Bruce Springsteen to get it for you.