Avensis Sold

Larry arrived around two o’clock. Wanted to know why there was a kettle left on the wall, and why the bonnet was open. I had to tell him that I’d parked in front of the house, beside a bucket of ashes and a big wind had come and blown the ashes into the engine and now it was all yellow. He thought about this, then said: ‘Jez, I don’t about this at all.’ Tommy was there too, and they had a truck to take the car away. I told him the truck was a good idea cos there wasn’t a bit of brakes on it and anyone that drove it would be sure to hit the wall. Tommy lit a smoke and said there was three drivehshafts in that version of the Toyota Avensis. Larry asked me if I was doing any Plays lately, and did I have a kid, and did I ever see anyone from the rehab centre up the road. I told him the Plays were quiet cos of the film, and the baby was doing mighty, and one morning we saw an escapee from the rehab centre loitering around the graveyard. It was nine o’clock on a Sunday morning and he was trying to act casual, pretend he was out for a walk, but he had that look of someone that was mitching from school and had just been spotted by the principal. He took for the wall and peered intently at the nearest headstone. Later, we saw him by the local pub, two hands cupped against the window, wondering if it opened early. Breeze blew and Larry said: “I might start her up.” And he did. And the engine sounded great and he said these cars are a dying breed, you can’t kill them. Tommy said he’d gotten two or three calls for a driveshaft the same day as I’d been looking for one. Impossible to find. And he’d never seen an exhaus as warped as mine. We talked about prices and I thought it was best to cut through all the drawn out questions from Travellers, chancers and tyre kickers I’d had during the last week. There’s no NCT. Handbrake doesn’t work. Brakes don’t work. €320 and she’s yours. Everyone knew that really meant €300 and I’d have to give the €20 back “for luck.” But then Larry took a note from the €20 luck and said: ‘Take a tenner for the child.’
After that, we filled out the logbook and it was a bit crumpled cos last week it was in the pocket of my jeans and Michelle had put the jeans through the washing machine. We got through it and Larry lowered the ramp on the truck and nursed the Toyota up on to it and then they drove away. It looked like my grandfather’s oul ass, Neddy, after it was deaf  and blind and had finally died and was took away to some obscure factory in the distance of childhood’s mind. I watched the bonnet sail away like a sick tongue and the headlights like  a pair of rheumy empty eyes, and then they were gone so I went to Supermacs thinkin I might chance shnackbox.

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