Sage Mechanical Advice –

There’s a scrapyard somewhere around Tuam. Another down by Belcarra. Have you tried the Polish lads in Athlone? What about that place on the Headford road? Oh, do you know who might have one, hang on, he’s not at it anymore, wait til I see. Fuck. Christmas week, ya see. Too dear to go to a Main Dealer. Bastards’d rob ya. Between labour costs, and the price of the part, and it bein brand new. Find a yoke that’s crashed, take the piece out of it. What is she? ’99 Diesel Avensis? Right, and it’s the CV joint? No? Oh, it’s the whole shaft? Passenger side? Right, fuck, how’d that happen? Were you drivin at the time? Was it knockin for a while? That does happen in them yokes alright, can be a bitch to find one. There’s a lad lookin now, alright, I was talkin to him on the phone, said he’d ring me back if he gets one. C’mere and I tell ya, there’s a crowd up in the North, that’ll come down every Wednesday, you ring them up and ask for the piece and they’ll pull in to a Carpark there and sell it to you out the side of the van. There’s another crowd at it up Ballina side, but they’re gone big shtuff now I think. And what are you drivin now? A Nissan Almera? Who’s is that? The man in the garage, not too bad, grand car them. Petrol or Diesel? Petrol. Yeah, she’ll drink it alright if you don’t go shlow. But sure she’ll get you around anyway, isn’t that all you want? Good tires. Back one a bit flat, could do with a shot of air. You won’t get a mechanic this time of year now for love or money, they don’t give two fucks sure, Christmas week, don’t ya know the craic, way tis, a fella there now and he sick from dhrink and the cold, and you come in lookin for a, what is it, a CV joint? Oh, the whole shaft? Right, Christ. And they’re a grand car besides til somethin goes in them. You’re fucked then. Is it worth fixin? Don’t go to a Main Dealer anyway. C’mere and I tell ya, there’s a fella there down in Milltown, one year there, I needed a wishbone for a Honda and….who’s your man that used to do it out the back of the house, shed job, nice and quietly, had every sorta yoke thrown around there, but the besht place is now, and you might as well, besides fuckin around, there’s a recovery place there in Galway and they pull every sorta shit out of walls and fields and poles and they have everything. So go in there and talk to your man, and he’ll pull it out handy enough, everyone closed til Friday now, 2nd of January before anyone’s back, day or two then shlobberin and off for the weekend then again, ease into like, no point getting carried away, what is it again? The gearbox is it? Oh the CV joint, no! The fuckin shaft, right, ’99 Avensis, grand yoke, he’ll have one of them alright, call into them there, sure by the time you’ve all the drivin done lookin around in that Almera, and the price of petrol, sure you might as well be goin to a Main Dealer, but sure then they’ll fuckin robya, isn’t it cat too how noone’s workin? Where’d she break down again? Ennis?! Christ. There’s fella down there with a place pasht Kinvara, dunno is he shtill there but if you go down pasht Gort about ten miles and turn in….

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